Dominic Muema fell in love with a girl he met in college seven years ago. She was what young people would term a girl with ‘good vibes’. She was agreeable to most of his proposals for their future life together. Fights were rare.
Says Muema: “Maria had all the qualities a man would look for in a wife”.
Two years into the marriage, however, Muema began to notice what he terms as a sense of entitlement in his wife.
Says he: “She started demanding for some finer things in life we could not afford, including holidays in some of the expensive locations in the country while all we could afford was an occasional holiday at the coast”.
Maria would push, calling him stingy. He would push back terming her a gold digger. Unable to force her way through, Maria resorted to a strategy many couples fall back on, the silent treatment.
A question would elicit a one-worded answer and if more explanation was required, it was ‘I-don’t-know’. The couple would have celebrated their fifth anniversary together this year. They did not.
The silent treatment is a scourge at the heart of many family squabbles and eventual breaks-up.
Cleveland Clinic defines silent treatment as “an act of withholding communication. A common stone-walling behaviour that can be intentional or unintentional. For some people, it’s a coping mechanism. For others, it’s a way of causing harm”.
Says a female marriage counselor: “Case of bipolar in the family, it can affect a person’s behaviour in future. These are things people never talk about when dating”.
Whatever the causes or reasons behind the silent treatment, the results are the same, disclosedthe blog, Relationships Australia.
Added the blog: “Loss of connection, love, intimacy, and sometimes even family participation. It can also feel unfair and unkind, leading to anger and further fighting”.
