Respect The Ancient Landmarks ( Continued)

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The Sunday Conversation


Pastor Luke Okoro

Parents must teach their children to keep to time because it’s a measure of wisdom and intelligence, the sole of business and hallmark of enthusiasm and readiness . Numbering our days as noted in Psalms 90 is for us to keep tab on time and passage of age. Our kids should know.
Children should be taught to say SORRY.. even if they are not wrong or are not the cause of the problem or challenge. This five- letter,- word: S-O-R-R-Y, can work wonders, although most people detest it’s use. Those who hate it are proud and ignorant of it’s power. Let our children learn how to use it. They need it in marriage and career , and in life generally.
They should be trained to demonstrate courage. Therefore, the boys must not be trained as sissy or effeminate. The girls should not be trained as snob or spineless and dependent on others for survival. Such children are usually deficit i in discretion and confidence.
Children who are minors should not be taught to run away from a challenge thrown by their mates . They should be courageous to face any of such challenges.

The use of alcohol is not a virtue, though Unbelievers deny this. So, our kids must be introduced to TEETOTALISM, because it’s saintly to do so. The Bible calls us Priests and children of the Most High God. and commands us to shun strong drink because it’s a mocker. (Proverbs 23.: 28-35.) Let our children be teetotallers because they are pilgrims who must not conform with the mundane affairs of non pilgrims.. Use of alcohol, hard drugs and weed smoking vitiate our Christian testimony. They are also social and economic nuisance. Even without professing Christ, they are useless habits that our kids must be liberated from.
The use of can or whip on children should not go beyond 12 years at most. Between ages 13 and 17, parents should apply counselling in order not to orchestrate rebellion in their children. At this stage , children are conscious of their actions. What they don’t know fully are the consequences of such actions.It’s the duty of parents through consistent counselling to make them aware of such consequences. Don’t be too hard on them at this stage or else, they will withdraw from you, begin to hide their actions or even hate their parents totally. Let your language be civil and friendly. Buy their loyalty and friendship before you lose them to the outside world.
By the time they are past 17 years, parents should change their training strategy to include: DEBATE. DIALOGUE and DISCUSSION with patience to reach agreements and consensus or harmless compromise or a win-win situation. Don’t forget that these children by now are undergraduates and graduates with better and brighter ideas. Any arbitrary imposition or unconvincing instructions could bomerang. Try to consult them. They could be great assets to the family at this period especially if you had carried out the foundational trainings diligently.

Apart from teaching them to give and how to give, children should be introduced to financial literacy very early in their development. Let them know the basic uses of money . a, , To loan it. b, To save it .c,, To invest it. d, To spend it. e To give it . These are biblical concept and basic use iof money , although financial experts have other uses This will enable them to manage their early financial challenges, especially in school and early career stage.
Parents must not openly disagree, quarel or abuse esch other or gossip about others before their children. Don’t also receive reports of other people from your children , including reports of their fellow sibling’s. It’s dangerous to do so because it’s a two-edged sword. Husband and wife must be on the same page in the training of their children. Some children seek loopholes in their parents’ disagreement to evade discipline and responsibilities. Couples must be wary of such misdemeanor from their kids.

No matter how trustful and well groomed these children are, when they are not around go into their rooms, nose around, search their pockets, dresses and boxes as well as wardrobes, bags and toilets especially boys. Watch out for possible signs of usage of substances, alcoholic beverages and cigarettes and weed . Also look out for dresses and shoes , books etc which you didn’t buy for them. Be careful to observe the books they are reading, Though they must be introduced to love reading as children and to be patient with the art of reading .Stock up books for them to read during holidays. Ensure they do. Get home teachers for them. Male for boys. Female for girls. Don’t cause trouble mixing it up.
However, don’t eave drop their discussions. Don’t peep into their rooms. Don’t enter their rooms without knocking and getting response . Young people love their privacy. Don’t really try to choke them. Give them liberty in their rooms . When you do these negatives, you lose their trust and confidence. Integrity wanes with such indiscretion. Again, keep an eye on their rooms. Some kids can be funny and can borrow anything. And some parents have been thoroughly deceived.

Appreciate your children when they perform feats or make notable attainments or produce kind gestures. After eating, they should appreciate their dad and mum or anybody who cooked or provided the meal. It’s biblical to appreciate every kindness. They should thank their parents for footing their school bills. Parents go through a lot to fulfil such obligations .

  1. Family Targets and Goals.

Success and sustainable development don’t come by chance. Families don’t drift into outstanding success. It rarely happens. But generally, heaven rewards painstaking effort at achieving success. Therefore, parents must plan and pursue set family goals and targets. There must be timelines for goals of solid achievements. There must be a standard to also measure spiritual/ character based successes. In our own house, we don’t compromise honestly. Today, nobody lies even if you choose to kill us at gun point. Everybody is aware that we are pilgrims. And we live by that simple understanding because sin is a reproach to any people whether family, organisation or a nation. (Proverbs 14:34)

The Bible is clear when it states that the people perish where there is no vision. And for lack of wisdom the people are destroyed.( Proverbs 29:18. Hosea 6:4.)
These goals must also be written down and regularly be explained to the children as their understanding can go. The point must be noted that the set goals which incorporate the vision and mission of the family, would determine the focus , the quality of training, direction and speed to attain them. Family targets should:
a, Align available resources to set goals.
b, Orchestrate actions and activities each day to guide , inspire and direct the children to set goals;
c,v Ensure that the path and direction of the children are clearly marked out for them to pursue .
d, Ensure that timelines and success indicators are fully established and determinable. They must not be vague and bogus. They must be smart

8, Parental Integrity and Exemplary Leadership.

Leading children requires integrity.
Parents who lead without integrity should not expect much followership or success from their children. Parental Integrity demands:
a, Complete honesty and transparency in all dealings. To be transparent is to act without deceit. To say all the truth. Parents should not deceive their children by telling them incomplete truths or lies.
b, Accountability. To be accountable is to open yourself up for scrutiny to your children. This should mean rendering account of your money , time and other resources available to you. Let them know how rich their parents are? How their parents make and spend their money and other commitments being undertaken by their parents.
c, Faithfulness: To be faithful is to be loyal and committed to your children or family. To develop the character of trust and believability. Be dependable for your children. When you tell them that you will be back at a particular time. Keep to it because they will wait for you. Informing them of your diversion isn’t fear, but an expression of faithfulness, family love and unity. It has nothing to do with control over you.
Being faithful also implies marital sexual fidelity. When you compromise this marital vow, your children will know. And your emotional bank account with them will wane – even if they don’t challenge you or say it or complain. Keep to your vows.
d, Impartiality. Parents must not be biased in dealing with their children. Parameters of judgement must remain the same. Preconceived opinions must be avoided in reaching judgements concerning the children. Equal treatment for the children. Equal rights and equal privileges including their schooling, wears, birthday celebrations among others.
When parents lose integrity with their children, redemption takes long. Therefore, every parent must strive to do the needful to maintain comprehensive integrity with their children. You can’t be an exemplary leader of your children without integrity. Strive for it as a parent.

9 Spread Love, Gain Unity.
1 Corinthians 13. Psalms 133.

Parents must spread love in the family by being caring, concerning, considerate, promising and purposeful . Parents must inspire hope in their children. Love gives. Love bears. Love forgives. Love makes sacrifice. Love doesn’t threaten. Love adores and cherishes. When parents arrive their house, children must know that Daddy and Mummy are back. Buy something for them , no matter how little. The atmosphere of love must ooze and permeate the home. Children should not be hiding because their parents are around. A parent must not be a tiger or lion in the house. Be the hen and let the children find comfort under your wings.
When parents spread love, they easily achieve family unity because love binds. Love chases away anger, bitterness and rancour from the home. Love isn’t biased.
Remember Joseph and his brethren. Love doesn’t compare children with children. Love heals wounds of failure and disappointment, inspiring hope in the place of despair and distress .When parents spread love in the home children will always desire to be home from anywhere they had gone. Let 1 Corinthians 13 be effectuated in our homes as parents.

10, , Be Positive, Be Patient, Be Prayerful . Be Spiritual

Every parent must look forward to succeeding in training their children. Therefore be positive that your children will turn out to be outstanding successes in both physical and spiritual dimensions. That’s the balance that the Bible calls GOOD SUCCESS in Joshua 1:8. Notwithstanding, we must not lose sight of the fact that the task of training children is a spiritual affair. In Job 1, the Bible tells us that Job made sacrifice on behalf of his children , perhaps, they had sinned against God. In the same way, we must constantly intercede for our children for God to show them mercy even in their shortcomings. Let’s not forget that training children is also a battle between life and death, hell and heaven and loyalty between God and Satan. We must therefore put on the whole armour of God to fight this battle successfully.

The Bible tells us that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but strong and mighty to the pulling down of strongholds including: child delinquencies, teen foolishness and youth restiveness. Indeed, with God nothing shall be impossible to them who believe.( Luke 1:37.) Congratulations . God bless. ( Concluded.)

Pastor Okoro can be reached on: 08051000462.

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